January 27, 2008
Doggie Rescue!
The doggie being taken by the ambulance |
One of the assholes that broke into the animal hospital (pictures courtesy of the Chicago Tribune) |
1am Monday night while driving on Division and Clybourn, I see a tiny black dog running leashless down the street at breakneck speed. I quickly stop the car and scream "Oh my God Rees go help him!", and Rees promptly gets out and chases after it . I turn the car around and try to keep up with the dog, who clearly looked like he belonged to someone and had gotten loose. What ensued was 20 minutes of us driving around Cabrini Green, occasionally spotting the dog, then he would get frightened and run away again. I refused to give up because I knew if he was left to himself he would end up freezing to death. Eventually we found him in a tiny side street and had him cornered. He ran underneath my car (the poor thing was probably half frozen) and refused to get out. I called 311 and pretty soon there were 5 squad cars there with (gasp) nice police officers trying to coax the poor dog out from under my car. He wouldn't budge.
The police officer tells us that they had arrested 2 guys for breaking into a nearby animal hospital. They opened up the cages and there were animals running around inside the place, and some that had probably gotten outside. After another 20 minutes standing out in the cold, an ambulance came as well as someone from the Goldcoast Animal Hospital. He was able to get the dog out on a special leash, and the EMTs quickly wrapped him up in towels to warm him up. We were all so happy that he was okay, and I hope to God that they were able to get all the animals that were let loose.
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January 24, 2008
Ballerinos, Killer Rehearsals and More Detox
Thursday night I go to the Harris Theater to see the world-renowned Les Ballets Trockaderos de Monte Carlo, a troupe made up of men who dress up as ballerinas and do all the women's parts in pointe shoes. I had a marvelous time, these men were beautiful, funny as hell and gave a great show. Friday I see my accupuncturist Dr. Feng, as my stripper pole arms are still in massive pain. I then go to a dance rehearsal for a show at the Park West, and our choreographer has us rolling around on the ground, doing drop splits, shoulder stands and random acrobatics. Ouch. Later on I go to hear Vic Lavender and Anthony Nicholson at Sonotheque, then go to see my beloved Frankie Knuckles at Zentra. My favorite friends Robert Williams, bitchy Andre Hatchett, Craig Loftis, Judge and Fredrick Dunsen were all there. They finally put up a gate by the DJ booth so that retards would stop going up to bug Frankie.
Trockaderos de Monte Carlo |
This raw food detox is really killing me, because if I do any kind of clubbing/partying, my body takes 10x longer to recover. I need to remember I'm detoxifying from poisons and cooked food and smoke and bad energy. Sunday I have yet another rehearsal for another choreographer. I'm dying because I've been fasting for 2 days. Later than night I have to drop off magazines at 6 different clubs, north and south, given that it's a big party night with MLK holiday tomorrow. I was tempted to go to Ron Carroll and Barbara Tucker's party at 720, but I felt like I was going to pass out. So after driving everywhere around Chicago, I cook my man a giant bowl of garlic fried rice and steak, me nothing, then pass out in my lovely lovely bed. Sweet Dreams.
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January 17, 2008
January Issue Release Party
All I can say is... SICK, SICK, SICKENING!!! I was not expecting that turnout! Sunday at the Dating Game is Emanuel's night, and he was the one who suggested him and Gene Hunt do a tag team set for the January release party. And although I did as much internet/phone promotion as I could, my sickliness prevented me from party-hustling the way I usually do. So when we get to the Dating Game and see the place already packed early on we were pleasantly surprised. By midnight the crowd created different dancefloors around the room, that's how much people wanted to dance :) I adore Gene and Emanuel, they should definitely do that more often! Kenny Mack, that immaculate pimp in the white and black vest ensemble and slickrick-smooth moves is one of my favorites. Northsiders came out of the woodwork to check out the night and ended up staying all through the end, finalizing their southside initiation by ordering plates of wings. One of my girls enjoyed the party too much and ended up initiating the floor and the backseat of my car with the remains of her alcoholic consumption.
The good news is, Gene will be doing a monthly residency there with Emanuel. Every 2nd Sunday to be exact.
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January 14, 2008
Sucky Smartenders, Internet Coooking, Armless Pole-Dancing and Tiffany's
The douche who dared to argue... just shut up and pour |
SUCKY SMARTENDERS
Thursday was my friends Divine Disco Unit and Nautix Design's party at Smart Bar. There's nothing I love more than a dumb blonde bartender too busy texting on her phone rather than taking care of her customers. I especially love it when the prices change on the same drinks, and despite the fact that I had the miracle happen to me that 4 different people bought me drinks that night, my tab still came out to a preposterous $70. (I barely ordered anything from her.) For those of you who have read the RAW blog, it turns out I'm allowed to imbibe alcohol, although of course it's better not to. So while drunkenly complaining to all my friends about the crappy service, the other douche-bag mohawk wearing dork bartender jumps in front of me and says "And how many bars have you tended at?!?" I stare at him for a full 5 seconds, trying to process the fact that someone dared challenge a customer whose tips in the past have probably financed his dirty goth t-shirts and second-hand underwear. I then proceed to yell back at him about the fact that I've worked in ZERO bars but have probably patronized 200,000 and know bar etiquette. If someone is buying round after round of drinks, it has been my keen observation that the bartender will hook you up with either a free round, a few shots or a discount on your tab. Then you make it up with a big fat tip, of which I always do. This bitch was too busy flirting with guy customers and figuring out how to count past 10. My girl Vanessa finally jumped in and said "You see all these people? They're here because of her!!"
Unbelievable. I always have this outrageous bar tab at Smart Bar. Rave on ravers!!
INTERNET COOKING
In my efforts to fatten my man up, I made him buy tons of chicken, pork and other assorted food that I would never touch. I've never really cooked before, save for these giant egg-white omelettes I used to make myself. I've been cooking for him now, and my teacher is the internet. For breakfast I wanted to make him eggs, so I googled "how to cook an egg" and went ahead and made him eggs sunnyside up. At night I looked up how to make porkchops and made him a meal of porkchops and rice. He really liked my porkchops, so maybe there is a smidgen of domesticity lurking in my being.
ARMLESS POLE-DANCING
On Friday I went and took my fellow dancer Rebecca's pole-dancing class. I've been meaning to do it forever. Halfway through the class I seriously thought my arms were going to come off. We had to do the same spinning and climbing moves over and over again until you wanted to vomit. I learned really cool tricks but by the end of the class I was in so much pain that I couldn't even lift my arms up. I went home, ate delicious Motrim then passed out. I had no interest in seeing Rush at Zentra.
my lovely new bracelet |
TIFFANY'S
My man finally got me what I wanted: a pretty silver Tiffany's bracelet with a heart charm. It is so pretty and dainty and feminine, just like me. I'm kidding. I keep wanting to do beauty queen waves to show off my new trinket.
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January 8, 2008
A Day is Not a Week is Not a Month
Why do people celebrate their birthdays for a week? Or more? Did it take a week for your moms to push you out her womb? I say this because in the past few months I've noticed that people have been asking their friends to come out to this night and that night for multiple parties celebrating their birthDAY. Even in my most ME-ME-ME moments, not once did I resort to this hubristic, self-aggrandizing behavior.
"Come to my pre-birthday birthday!"
"Come to my 2 days before my birthday birthday party!"
"Come to my actual birthday party and act like you care!"
Or the best one I saw the other day: "This party will be the first one in my birthday series." Wha? Birthday series? Let's just throw a parade in your honor. And then we can have the pre-parade party birthday celebration, the almost time for the parade post-birthday party celebration, let's not stop!
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January 7, 2008
Raw
with friends @ Smart Bar... I don't know what Ron Carroll is looking at... |
Dana Powell @ the Jeffrey Pub |
When I was a full time dancer rehearsing for hours and hours a day, weight was definitely a prevalent issue when getting cast for roles. Allow me to plug Karyn's Inner Beauty, a beautiful place that espouses the ideals of eating all raw food. I (along with many dancers from previous companies) have done the month-long raw food detox cleanse, and have even stayed eating raw for months after. It cleans out your system, heals your body, makes you lose weight and gives you a spiritual boost. So with all the junk that I've wallowed in this past year, I heard my body screaming for some purification. So far I've been 6 days raw and I feel great. This also means being sober when going out (a slight challenge), but I've been falling asleep by midnight anyway. These are all mini-miracles for me. I've also gone back to dancing for 2-3 hours a day at my old ballet school, and I'm feeling like my old self again.
Of course none of this has stopped the fact that I still have to go out and be on my business. Thursday my man headlined a wonderful set at Smart Bar, Friday we drop by Zentra, Leo's Den, Smart Bar and to Dana Powell's new night at the newly renovated Jeffrey Pub. For those of you who don't know, Jeffrey Pub is an old old Chicago institution, a gay bar on the southside with more security than Rikers Island. A sign outside kindly requests that you do not bring in your guns. You are cavity searched when you walk in by big people. And it was gross. Before. Now it is brand spanking new, with newly done floors, a better sound system, nice lights and a more cheerful atmosphere. So we hang out in the treehouse-like DJ booth with Dana, while Craig Loftis (who told me about the new night in the first place) spun an impromptu set. An old tired lesbian with serious eye bags kept banging on the door and asking when they were going to play the stepper's set. Dana would nod his head (while clearly not listening), then kick the door shut on her face. I love him.
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January 3, 2008
10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5...
For only the 2nd time in my entire life, the mega party girl (yeah me) stayed in for New Year's Eve. Maybe it's because I wasn't feeling well and was all partied out from the week before. I was done with people, places, drinking and talking. We had 6 parties to go to, and I kept vacillating between the Silver Room and Charlie Matlock's party. I ADORE countdowns, I live and breathe them, I will do 8 countdowns a night (different time zones, different parties) if I could. My childhood was made up of beautiful New Year's Eve parties, ones in hotel ballrooms with a 25 piece orchestra, 1000 black and gold balloons on the ceiling waiting to drop, and ballgowns and tuxedos of swanky and well-groomed people. Classiness, not brassiness. I sorely miss these celebrations, because I have not been with any friends/men who could afford to do this with me, and I'll be darned if I pay for 2 tickets instead of 1.
So back to the story. My sick butt ended up laying in bed watching the Times Square and (more festive) Telemundo countdowns, toasting with some store-bought champagne (Luigi my dog snuck into my glass and got tipsy) and then eventually passed out in restful slumber. Happy New Year everyone.
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