December 31, 2005
New Year's Eve
I was supposed to host "The Last Thursday" party at the Cotton Club. Unfortunately the cover is $10 and there wasn't much promotion. I stopped through and the music was phenomenal. I think it was Snooze. After nearly getting accosted on 16th and Michigan by a shady guy in a shady truck, I leave for Minx and Zentra to take care of some business.
I want a boyfriend!! But only till New Year's. Then he can go away. I think this will be the first New Year I have without a boyfriend. This should be interesting. People are blowing up my phone asking me if I'm having a party. (Only if you donate a maid and bring your own damn alcohol!)
At Zentra there is a big fight to end the night. From what I saw it was a group of lesbians versus a group of straight latinas. Oh and a fat latino boy was mouthing off as well and even I wanted to hit him. A paddywagon and a bunch of cop cars decorated the outside of Zentra, so I gawk and stare like everybody else. I would have taken pictures, but that would have been a tad bit distasteful.
email | cz's blog home
December 30, 2005
Convoy to Wet
Doug Brandt and I just recorded our end-of-the-year top 10 songs for 5 magazine's radio show. It's cool that we're on the same page musically.
Doug wasn't working the next day so me and Lito drag him out with us for the night's adventures. Because all 3 of us really really needed to see naked men who look good, we went to one of my all-time favorite places: Madrigals. It's a gay male strip club, but a lot of the dancers are "straight", and I have hooked up many a time with a beautiful adonis from there. Alas, that night was not one of them. Doug liked this black boy called Chris who was not the brightest bulb on the block. He said "I'm a woman by day and a man by night." Next! There were 2 cuties from Miami but they were 5'3". Then this ok-looking white boy gets up on stage and starts humping it (on beat!) I shove money in Lito's hand "Get me that boy now!" I command. That was my big mistake. It turns out white boy is super gay and has actually given Lito a blow job in Man's Country before. (Man's Country is a bathhouse/orgy place) What?? Lito didn't remember, but hump-boy did and wanted to hook up with Lito again. "Thanks Lito!" I say with bitterness.
We then go to Berlin for disco night, and it was a really good time. We pick up annoying Polish Matt and Tremaine from New York, form a convoy of cars with other friends and go to Wet. All this time I'm still conducting business with promoters and club owners, and I find that a slightly inebriated state for both parties helps in business dealings. Wet is packed.
A few heads come over my house for a mini-afterhours. DJ Jozana and Smitty from Poorwoods are over, and they tell me stories about the Winter Music Conference. Then Smitty knocks out and snores LOUDER THAN ANYONE IN THIS PLANET. I love this guy. See picture below.
email | cz's blog home
December 28, 2005
Post-Xmas Parties
Christmas day I wake up at 5pm. I am by myself and absolutely ecstatic. I don't have to talk to anyone, and nobody talks to me. Later on I have a pizza and wine dinner with my ex. Then we head out to hear Mr. A.L.I. at Poorwoods. It was a great party and everyone turned up. We then went to Betty's Blue Star Lounge to close out the night. And what's Christmas without drama and misery? So my ex gets into it with one of my friends. ("What did you say about Czarina and dick??!!?") One of my friends starts flirting with someone I like. A guy who used to holler at me is drunk and getting ignorant on me. A fun-filled way to end the night.
Then Monday night me and Lito go to Exedus to hear some friends perform. Just a few years ago I was so deep into the hip-hop scene with the 2 boyfriends I had that it was all I did. Now I can't understand the appeal of it. So much posturing and bravado, and we know that they're all dl boys! Then a quick stop through to the Family Den... Wayne Williams is amazing. Afterwards we go to Green Dolphin, and it is fire-hazard-packed. Afterhours at my boy Tomas' house down the street from me. My old dancer friends (Tremaine and Will) from out of town are with us and we all do Horton exercises in time to Beyonce. Must stop drinking.
And Kenny Ray, take me out of your phone book. Your perverted text messages at 6am don't sit well with me. Stop spelling cum with 2 m's!
email | cz's blog home
December 25, 2005
Xmas
Friday night dec. 23rd. Is it almost xmas?? I really wanted to go to Boston to see my brothers and my 2 nieces but there is just so much crap to do down here. I feel terrible because my nieces have been leaving me these really heartbreaking messages wanting to see me. So Lito and I have a late dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and promise ourselves to not go out and rest. Then Craig Loftis calls me and tells us he's spinning at the Prophouse so there goes our "we're not going out" resolution.
After getting drunk at the Prophouse we head to my house and my very good friend/party buddy Lyrik comes over. We end up drinking and talking and drinking and talking till we pass out at noon. Luigi my dog drinks all my Bacardi and coke and ends up drunk as hell. I know he's drunk because he takes a giant piss right in front of me and instead of running away in guilt just looks at me like "And what???"
5pm I wake up in a Tylenol PM dazed panic because I have to pick up my too-big gifts from Urban Outfitters before they close. It's the day before xmas. What??? After that, myself, Lyrik and Harold all eat at Johnny Rockets. The eastern European cook with the massive gut takes forever to make the damn burgers. Why do the greasiest places give little girlie-bitch napkins so you have to use 100 of them just to wipe one finger? I eat like a pregnant bitch. We all do.
Then I go over to Lyrik's house and we watch Queer as Folk and gossip about the good old days of when we used to dance together. I miss him. At 3am I leave his house (it's very quiet on xmas eve) and go to Walgreens to do my last minute xmas shopping. They've got lots of cute stuff there! Why didn't I just do all my xmas shopping at Walgreens? So I go home and wrap up the gifts, but not before I spend 1 hour cleaning up dog "love" all over my house. I listen to a Charlie Brown Christmas over and over again.
It's now 5:52am xmas morning as I write this. I think I'm going to take Luigi on a xmas walk. Yes people, I'm actually walking my dog! Merry Xmas.
email | cz's blog home
December 23, 2005
So today was supposed to be the day I start staying in and getting my health back, but my boys Rod X (from Pontiac, IL) and Izrael are spinning at Zentra at my request. Their sets are early (10m-12am), and they're banging it so I can't complain. I have zero energy and stare at the wall for 2 hours with a full glass of long island. Everyone thinks I'm messed up. "No! I'm sober!" Folks are so used to me running around yipping and yapping to anything that moves that my silence is scaring them.
email | cz's blog home
December 20, 2005
But it was Monday that I got to redeem myself to Los, who was looking for that one club where he could really get his mack on. "Wait till you see the Boom Boom Room" I promise him. Sure enough, when we get there in that sea of caucasian femata, he is instantly in heaven. Not only that, but he got to dance and zone out for hours. So we have another afterhours, only this time I freaked out. Mad dudes started coming up to my house that I didn't know. The energy was all wrong, so after 20 minutes my boys ask majority of the unknowns to leave. Lots of lesbo action happened that night, which was fine, but everyone was so wired that anywhere you went in the house there was either (a) making out (b) other illicit activites or (c) non-stop jabbering. And you did not want to get into anybody's conversation, because you will be stuck listening for 2 hours about why country is really a form of regional house.
I just want to sleep!!!
Los stayed one extra day, and we take him to Four on Tuesday to try one more time.
Wednesday we take him to the airport, and I finally get my blessed day of rest.
Well no I don't. The 5 Magazine crew tapes their xmas show for
chicagohouseradio.com with Doug, Boogie, Laurie, Harry T and myself.
email | cz's blog home
December 19, 2005
Me and Lito take Carlos (it's weird hanging out with 2 Carlos'...so my brother is Lito and the other one is Los) to all our spots. Our bboy friend from Cleveland Buzz is in town too. Saturday we go to the Crunch Gym party at Crobar, and by 11pm everyone is annihilated. Not good when you're planning to go out until 6am. Los is truly out of control. "White bitches!!! Where are they??!!??"
I'm trying to hang in there, and am looking forward to the day I can rest. I'm not getting better, and still my voice is gone.
Sunday was the 1 year anniversary of Chicagohouseradio.com, and myself and Lloyd Dev hosted the party at Betty's Blue Star Lounge. There were tons of people there, and Izrael and Glenn Underground played awesome sets.
Carlos got to spoon with one of my girls. But (sigh) nothing "happened."
email | cz's blog home
December 17, 2005
Back to Love
So my boy Carlos "Grace" Funn from Atlanta finally came and visited me
after months of procrastination. I had interviewed him for the magazine's first issue in the house dancing article. He got in Thursday, with the expectation of seeing lots of house clubs and hooking up with lots of white women. And then more white women. Sigh. So me and Lito get him from the airport, and promptly transport him anywhere and everywhere.
Friday night was the big 5 Magazine BACK TO LOVE party, and I'm glad I survived. The night was absolutely amazing, wonderful, magical. Everyone from the industry came, friends came, everyone came. Our show was well received. Me and my dancers (Fivestarboogie) opened with a house number, then Barbara Tucker and her 2 backup singers did a 30 minute set, and Stacy Kidd closed out the night. What was cool was that the few house dancers in the city all came, and a circle was in full force for most of the night.
|
I won't mention the fact that it was also the most miserable night for me and Lito. From the moment 7pm hit and he had to get miss Diva Barbara from her late flight, to me dealing with 50 million late requests, to the ASSHOLE doormen who did everything to fuck up my friendships with the folks on the list and pulled so much attitude, to the sound system not working and Barb doing the sound check right in front of everyone, to her demanding this and that and this and that (Lito punched a hole in the wall from frustration), to folks just harrassing me every single minute. It's true, you can never enjoy your own party. But it was a success :)
And then of coure, the afterhours at my house was pure debauchery.
[Pictures courtesy Chicago Sound Source. Thanks guys!
email | cz's blog home
December 14, 2005
Like a Dealer in a Playground
Sunday night I stayed in and watched TV. I've never done that before! It was the nicest most peaceful feeling in the world to sit with my dogs and watch the shows I wanted to watch (black and white, subtitles, Matlock.) No dumb white boy next to me rolling his eyes and demanding I change the channel on my TV. Ahhhh.
I tried buying a humidifier to help my throat but this bitch don't do shit! Maybe it makes ice cream.
Then Monday I go with my friends to Green Dolphin. Pushing this Barbara Tucker party like a dealer in a middle school playground.
***homeboy alert***
By the way, I've had it with guys who say they'll meet you somewhere, be there, whatever, and then (a) don't say they're running late or (b) don't even bother showing up! Yo! This is the queen bee you're fucking with here! Don't y'all know that the most popular button on my phone is the delete one? You fuck up, you're out. Seriously, what happened to consideration? Guys think they can just put their word out there and then "oh well I guess I ain't gonna let folks know plans changed." And then they wonder why you're salty?? I hate having my time wasted... because the time I was chilling waiting on you, I could have gotten my game from some other fool! And people ask me why I rotate boys. This is why. Because not one of them can get their shit together. For real.
email | cz's blog home
December 12, 2005
Weekend Round-Up
Friday night we hit up Prophouse and Zentra. For some reason I never remember how the afterhours party ends up at my place, but Lito tells me that I always scream "Afterhours at my place!" by 3:55. A bunch of us head to mi casa and I give all of them 5 Mag shirts to rock. The look is very high school sleepover camp.
Saturday was the usual usual. Too many parties to go to so we skipped most of them. Groove Lounge, Generator, Uptown Lounge then House Spot. We showed Jesse Saunders (who was in town for the weekend) Da House Spot, and watched folks get dis"graced". Move on A, there are way better "fish" in the sea.
email | cz's blog home
December 10, 2005
Luigi the Orgasmic Wonderdog
MY DOG IS DISGUSTING! Luigi, my boston terrier, love of my life, just made me hurl. He's obsessed with his little squeaky hamburger... squeak squeak squeak... and likes to play with himself. So he starts humping my blanket and pawing at his hamburger at the same time... squeak squeak squeak. Now this is pretty disturbing in itself because he does this weird rodeo thing with the blanket. Well that night he went absolutely nuts riding the rodeo blanket squeak squeak squeak giddyap! And then all of a sudden he stopped. Then he gingerly walked away from the blanket and lay down.
"HE CAME ON YOUR SHEETS!!!" yelled Lito.
"WHAT?!!? NO WAY!!" I scream back. But sure enough, I look at my sheets and they are WET! AHHHHHHHH! My dog came on my sheets with his squeaky hamburger! Only humans can come on my sheets! In fact, hell naw! If a boy (or girl) tried to mess on my silk sheets I will karate flip them on their ass and send them home!
I can never look at Luigi the same way again.
email | cz's blog home
December 9, 2005
Snow Day
Wednesday night, me and Lito headed out to the Dating Game so I could interview Andre Hatchett. But alas my voice was once again completely gone and I was in so much sick-throat-pain I had to reschedule. The music was bomb though. Andre is one of my favorite djs of all time.
Then after a few pitstops here and there, we ended up at 3 Degrees' night at Wet. I don't know quite how it happened, but my boys all got into a major fight outside at the end of the night. It all started because the jerko roomate of one of friend A started acting up and pushed friend B. Soon all his boys jumped him. Then friend A of the jerko roomate had to defend his boy, and so all you saw were bodies jumping up and cursing at each other. I'm like "Oh shit." A cop car drove by slow, everyone played frozen statues, the cop drove off, and they were back on it again.
Once peace prevailed, we all went to my house for an afterhours. Of course jerko roomate took a cab home. Everyone was so geeked up about the fight they all kept talking about it and reliving it. All that testosterone was too much for me. It's moments like this that make me look at the homoeroticism prevalent in sports, fights and secret handshakes. Men don't want women. Men want other men to grab and hold on to.
Thursday, the snow was down hardcore. The Negro League was closed, there were like 5 people at Tini Martini, and by the time we got to Zentra at 2 they decided to shut down. It better not be like this next week dammit.
email | cz's blog home
December 7, 2005
Illness
I'm sick again!!! What the *??? As in, I am sick again dammit!!! I downed almost a full bottle of chloraseptic and am hacking away like 98-year-old smoker whore. I stayed in and slept from Monday night through Tuesday night, and my phone kept blowing up with my Mariah Carey ring.
What really sucked, is that me and Doug Brandt finally taped the 1st installment of our radio show for chicagohouseradio.com on Monday. After hours of working on it, we realized the levels were all wrong and had to do it all over again. And that's when I completely lost my voice. As in, violent hand signals were the only way for me to communicate with people. And we have to have that radio show in by Wednesday. So I'm giving myself a day to "heal" (whatever that means), and trying as much as possible not to talk. Or scream. I miss screaming.
On the bright side, my boy toys are in full effect, being good boys and helping me with the magazine while I am ill. Thanks Lito and Harold, much appreciated.
email | cz's blog home
December 5, 2005
Bollywood & Biscuits
Friday night was too much running around getting the Dec. issue out. I really wanted to dance, but for some reason got sidetracked by too much blah blah blah how you doin'. Minx had Bollywood in the house. I'm half east Indian, and grew up with the Indian community in the Philippines all my life. It reminded me too much of hanging out with my cousins when I was 15. So me and Lito headed to the Prophouse, and I ended up embarrasing my bartender by demanding to know whether he was really bisexual or not. He smiled and nervously walked away. What's the big deal? Steak, pork, fish, combo platter, pu pu platter who cares??
Then our friend needed a ride to the airport, so we had to wait for his ass to finish laundry at five a.m. and then pack. We all fell asleep, and of course the alarm never went off. So we had 30 minutes to get 'ol boy to the airport. "Lito hurry up and let's go!!!!! Don't even bother putting on your socks!" Lito and I are ready by the door, and 'ol boy is like "Wait! I have to brush my teeth!"
We got to O'Hare in 7 minutes from my downtown crib, but he couldn't get on the flight and had to wait. Oh well. Then me and Lito went to the Popeyes on Division and LaSalle (I'm vegetarian but not at that frustrating and bleary moment.) Now let me tell you, Popeyes at 10 in the morning is no pretty sight. People in trench coats moaning to themselves, random old men shuffling slowly towards you asking for change, and NO DAMN BISCUITS! How can you have Popeyes with no damn biscuits?
email | cz's blog home
December 3, 2005
CLANG CLANG CLANG
Three Degrees' party at Wet was awesome. I must admit, I had my reservations about this space. Those parties on Sunday nights send me screaming for the hills with that industry-whore vibe it's got going. Plus when they first opened, me and my girls danced for this one Euro artist (we did it for the money) on the dancefloor of Wet. It was so embarassing because the music was horrible, and we had to keep shaking our asses like it was the best song in the world!!! Yeah! Aren't we sexy?! Don't you want to forget that 'ol boy just sang off key like a
mofo?? The one good thing is that one of the owners has this cute mutt of a dog called Snickers. Snickers likes to poop on the dancefloor when the club aint open. So the next time one of you Wet-loving people slip on the floor remember that Snickers loves you.
Then some people decided to have an afterparty at my crib, and before I knew it mugs were up at the condo partying hard! Adam of Chicagosoundsource.com had an intense conversation with my parrot Julius. Everyone was totalled and having intense conversations with themselves. While I was running around for no reason, I thought I'd entertain my guests by playing for them my collection of japanimation porn on tv. I also told some heads to go ahead and download some porn on my computer. Hey, who says I'm not a great hostess?
|
Thursday we parked our butts at Zentra. Not many people out, but the small room had a cute little crowd going. Then the next DJ up must have thought it was techno and not house night because all of a sudden my heart rate went up and all I heard was CLANG CLANG CLANG! Beep, bloop blap. "Let's get the hell out of here!!" I scream to my friends, my ex-raver days flashbacking to me in alarming waves of panic. Then this guy next to me started doing the glowstick dance with his cigarettes and I for real started grabbing my coat. "I'll tell him to play vocals!" promises Dysqo the Zentra promoter. And he does, bless his heart. And buys me a drink. Suddenly the music becomes slightly less offensive, and the drink numbs me to the pain of techno. CLANG CLANG CLANG! (I can't hear you I can't hear you...)
email | cz's blog home
« Older Entries | Newer Entries »