Cunnilingus No-Nos
Nothing makes for a good night than getting your kitty-cat eaten out, and by the same token nothing makes for a not-so-good-night than having your pussy eaten wrong. We end up staring at the ceiling or looking down at you crazy, while us kinder ones will make the obligatory moans and groans just to reward the effort.
Is there a wrong way? True, every woman is different and may like what another woman hates, but I would venture to say that there are some similarities in what a man (or woman) shouldn't do. Giving good oral to a woman will be extremely rewarding for you my dear reader, as you will be remembered as being an exceptional and incredible lover. Good 'ol plain sex is NOT enough, you have to have to... HAVE to put your mouth where the money is to be a truly worthwhile lover.
With all that said, here are 5 basic eat-out no-nos:
1) DON'T DISLIKE IT. And if you are really squeamish and just can't get yourself to like this essential activity, FAKE IT like your life depended on it. There is nothing sexier than a man loving your pussy so much he has to put his mouth on it. And for God's sake make some noise!
2) DON'T BE TIMID. This actually looks to number #1. We can tell when you're not really into it, trust me. Or maybe you just don't know what you're doing. Just pretend you're eating your favorite ice cream and you shouldn't be too far off. We'd rather you go for the gusto and be all over the place than to act like you're eating a sour pickle. Your turn off becomes our turn off.
3) DO NOT MAKE IT SHORT. No little teasing 2-second flicks and you come back for air. That just aint gonna cut it cowboy. Neither is it a speedracer contest. DIVE IN. Take your time and LUXURIATE in the cat consumption. I don't care how tired that jaw of yours is, one of the ways women rate how good you are is by the length of time you're down there. A short stay means you're a weak and lazy boy. This will get back to her friends.
4) NO IDLE HANDS. Use your (lubricated) digits and stick them inside her vagina. Make sure your fingernails are clean and trimmed. Let your fingers do the walking and the mouth the talking. Multitasking is good.
5) IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT THE CLIT. Some of you attack the clit like a piece of Trident gum, and that shouldn't be the case. You know that tons of nerve endings are in that wee little spot, and it can be so sensitive that it hurts. So gauge the woman's reaction when you are in that area, and back off if you see that it's getting to be too much for her. Don't ignore the surrounding areas of the vagina, because it feels good to have those parts touched too.
Remember, it's the most delicious and savory meal you'll ever have... if you think of it that way, you'll act that way, and the woman will be all yours. So go grab yourself a kitty meal and EAT IT.
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