MySpace is Like HIV!

Hello children, Luna Love is back after quite a few lovely months of much needed sexual relaxation! Many thanks to my dear friends Poi-Zen Jones and Shifty Johnson for sharing their wisdom while I was away.

This article may not be completely favorable to a lot of folks, but when did that stop me? It seems now that EVERYONE (and I do mean everyone) has joined that evil social pariah we call MySpace. And what was once an innocuous little friend site that allowed people to feel like they mattered has blossomed into a behemoth filled with crack-addict-like legions of fans, who must constantly log on to this site as though on life support.

A friend of mine once said it perfectly: "MySpace is like HIV." Truer words have never been spoken. It is a rapidly spreading disease that is infecting millions and millions of once sane beings. It will kill you by wasting your precious time - time you can spend fucking. Sure, we all know the "business" aspects of it, especially those of you in the music or entertainment industry, or really any service industry for that matter. You can sell your product, network blah, blah, blah.

C'mon now.

MySpace as we know is really used as an insidious device by most people for hooking up, stalking, and masturbating their egos. It is a cesspool of desperate and infectious folks with serious self-esteem issues. How many pictures of you and your friends do we really need to see? And have you ever seen those people with 30 pictures of themselves taken by a cheap camera phone, trying to strike a sexy pose? The ghetto posse is in full effect for this, because I have seen some of the most hideous people with rolls of fat hanging off their tight t-shirts getting openmouthed admiration from some horny boys looking for an easy lay. Now if that doesn't make you feel like a supermodel with all those "Oh my God you're so gorgeous mami! Can I get some??"... I don't know what does. Ditto for the cheap women who sweat the men with constant reminders of how horny they are.

And what about the Comments section? Sparkletags must be making a killing. Those little picture notes telling people "Thanks for the Add!", "Showin' some LUV" and "Can I fuck you doggy style?"... Honestly, does that really get you any action? I'm scared of people who have nothing better to do with their time than to send those useless messages.

If someone were to ask you right now what you've gained from all those hours of trolling around looking at other people's profiles... If you had to quantify on a timesheet the gains over the time spent, what did you get? Is your life more complete with it? I personally have looked at hundreds of profiles, and barely remember anybody's. I don't know 98% of my "friends." And sex? Forget it. See the above title of this column.

But I know there are a lot out there who will cling on, because it somehow gives them a sense of self-importance. "Look at me please! Comment on me and tell me how hot I look!"

From now on my computer is wearing a condom.

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